mile·stone /ˈmīlˌstōn/ noun: an action or event marking a significant change or stage in development.
Milestones: my response to one surprised me this week. After all, I have graduated before: from highschool, from college, from grad school. None of those milestones reduced me to tears. Why did this one? What was different? Was it the degree or was it me?
Yes: it is called a “terminal degree” (what a fierce phrase) and represents a dream come true for me as a student, minister, and mentor.
Yes: without doubt it is a profound manifestation of God’s grace to have completed the course considering the season and challenges along the way.
Yet, though the degree is in my life’s calling (the spiritual formation of leaders), I still have a sense that “me” more than the degree is what made the milestone more weighty this time around.
In short, more of “me” is here. By God’s gracious mentoring, I am simply more present to each moment: be it mundane or the stuff of milestones.
Perhaps the other academic milestones were experienced in passing? Shall we call them drive-by milestones? We do seem to always be on our way somewhere. We have a fast-food manner of living as leaders, which inclines us to order with gusto but be mentally somewhere else while we are eating…and so we rarely even remember where exactly we were when we took the last bite.
Years ago, my eldest said, “Mom, I think I know why I’m not happy. Before I end something, I’m already beginning something else.”
Insightful. Like so many of us, my eldest was in the habit of trampling endings with new beginnings. He recognized that his endings had no resting place which somehow affected new beginnings in particular as well as happiness in general.
Ending well requires our presence. Ending well requires rest. Just as our piano teachers told us: at the end of a piece do not let your fingers (let alone your body) leave their places prematurely.
It is a form of attentiveness.
And attentiveness is a form of respect.
So over the decades, this present moment has grown more precious to me. Can I testify? I am pleased–and at times outright overwhelmed–with what awaits me in this present moment. This moment is pregnant with God’s presence.
On Wednesday this week, as the doctoral dissertation committee was winding up the defense proceedings, they asked me how the dissertation-writing experience had affected me. Suddenly, my eyes began to sting and I recognized the presence of a milestone:
“In the process,” I began, “I have been mentored by ancient and modern voices through the privilege of studying their writings. And,” I continued feeling overshadowed by the Holy, “I feel commissioned by those voices as well: commissioned to take my place in the fabric of Christian history.”
I will not venture to offer any definitive interpretations of the Hebrews 12:1 mysterious “great cloud of witnesses,” but I will say that while present to that milestone moment, I felt ordained by God and the company of the faithful to arise.
My encouragement then to us all is to savor endings.
Stay attentive to them until their last note dissipates.
Rest in the silence that follows
for within it you just might find a milestone.
Your words are timely and have provided confirmation. God has me in a season of transition where he has clearly asked me to wait, unhurried. I would not have been prepared for this season had it not been for the work of the 7th year in my life, thank you. Today, months after your writing of this blog entry on milestones, your words confirm this transition period as a season of rest where God doesn’t want me to trample the ending, but to be present for it so the new beginning He brings gets His full Glory. Thank you!
Alicia – Thank you for sharing your life and thoughts and love for our Heavenly Father.
Congratulations! I have certainly been guilty of trampling endings with new beginnings. Always wanting to rush to ‘the next thing’. Thanks for the reminder to be fully present, no matter whether it is a beginning or an ending.
Thank you, Leah. Our entire culture leans forward into the future. Standing still is certainly strenuous. 🙂
Great encouragement … playing this piece with all my heart, soul, body … all the way through to the end. Finishing well – whatever the chapter – is my heart’s desire. Congrats, Alicia. Savor and rest!
Thank you, Elaine. Love you, my friend!!
Beautiful. Learning intentional attentiveness this season 😉
Heather, I was just thinking earlier about the bare trees surrounding our home and how the season makes noticing birds ever so much easier. Winter is among my mentors in attentiveness.
Congratulations on such a worthy accomplishment! Enjoy your period of resting and savoring. I also feel an ending approaching. My prayer is that I will savor this one, and that I truly will “stay attentive to it until the last note dissapates.”
Amen, Karla, amen. Peace to you!
Congratulations on this new “milestone” in your life. As usual, almost every word you write is pregnant with meaning/significance at so many levels. The timing of this one and its application in my current personal journey couldn’t be more appropriate.
Long story….
Today, I’m seeking to “stay attentive to (endings) until their last note dissipates.”
Thank you, Rebecca, for your kind encouragement. Yes, until ever last note dissipates… 🙂