Frank Laubach prayed, “If every annoyance can be made to remind me to turn and grip Your hand and ask You, ‘What are you saying through this vexation?’ then I can turn life’s rough spots into Your vocabulary.”1 Reality—be it vexing or blessing—is a friend of intimacy with God. Conversely, denial is an enemy of intimacy of God. For in every moment, God is present in our real lives.
Though we can anticipate God’s presence in the future and remember His presence in the past, we can only be attentive to His presence in this moment. Therefore, to invest in avoiding what is real—to escape what is actual in preference for what is illusion—is to mentally and emotionally refuse to be present to God’s presence. However painful, what is can sensitize us to the One who calls Himself, “I Am.”2
Anglican clergyman Jeremy Taylor is quoted as saying, “[a] religion without mystery must be a religion without God.”3 Mystery is a given for relationship between the Infinite and the finite. Psychologist Gerald G. May describes the invitation of mystery beautifully:
“When we were children most of us were good friends with mystery. The world was full of it and we loved it. Then as we grew older we slowly accepted the indoctrination that mystery exists only to be solved. For many of us, mystery became an adversary; unknowing became a weakness. The contemplative spiritual life is an ongoing reversal of this adjustment.”4
To dance when we do not know the steps requires us to value our Partner above our performance.
To dance in the dark demonstrates a lavish display of trust.
Perhaps control, even more than distance, is a fitting antonym for intimacy. Life’s many unanswered and unanswerable questions invite us to abandon the illusion of control and embrace the free-fall of love.
Footnotes_________________________________________________________________________
[1] Frank C. Laubach, Learning the Vocabulary of God: A Spiritual Diary (Mansfield Centre, CT: Martino Publishing, 2012), 17.
[2] Exodus 3:14 (NIV).
[3] Leonard I. Sweet and Frank Viola, Jesus Manifesto: Restoring the Supremacy and Sovereignty of Jesus Christ (Nashville, TN: Thomas Nelson, 2010), loc. 1630.
[4] Gerald G. May, The Dark Night of the Soul: A Psychiatrist Explores the Connection between Darkness and Spiritual Growth(San Francisco: HarperSanFrancisco, 2004), 132-133.
I cannot even begin to express how this post spoke into my life. Four days before Thanksgiving, my Mother moved from earth to heaven. She was ready, and it has been a relief. She had dementia and it was heartbreaking to see her in that state. Now, she is with Jesus, and with Daddy, whole and well. Since the funeral, my relationship with my only sibling has deteriorated horribly. I feel as though I have experienced two incredible losses. The benefit in all of this is that my intimacy with the Savior has intensified, and I am able to rest in Him, knowing that He has allowed all of this for a purpose. When my heart is set on trust in Jesus, I am safe. Lovely post.
Sweet mournings and painful relationships…yes, it seems you are living the duet of reality and mystery with great grace. Peace and hope, alicia
I’ve had a few times of really sensing intimacy with God in these last few months. Not long ago, I was walking my students back to the classroom from lunch. They were not listening and making all kinds of racket. In those few moments, I stepped back from the situation and realized God’s footsteps alongside me. It transformed the moment in profound measure. God was with me and, together, we were able to give the moment some worth …
I’m at a place in my journey with God where I more readily accept mystery – really, expect it. It’s freeing.
Blessed Bethlehem walk, friend!
Presence that transforms moments–yes. Yes and amen. Love you, Elaine!
Wow,the parallel right at the end got me. I’ve known for some time that my desire for control was somehow wrong even though instinctive. But I’m still asking God to give me the ability to embrace the free fall of following Him without any sense of control.
Thank you for commenting, Karla. Yep, the free-fall :-). May God help us all!