The last several days have been, well, a fusion of bizarre circumstances and heartaches.

Friday’s bizarre: Barry and I surprised the kids with a Spring-break night at a hotel with a great pool and at 8:30pm the smoke detector battery failed and began blaring which sent two of my kiddos over the EDGE. (To the dear lady at the desk who said that the smoke detector “chirps” when the battery runs out, please consider selecting a more accurate descriptor from among the following adverb+verb combinations: deafening blare, intense blast, ear-piercing peal, or strident wail.)  

Friday’s heartache: My youngest’s melt down (see above).

Saturday night’s bizarre: TEN police cars swarming the front of our driveway from 1:30-2:45am on a man hunt for two men who ditched their STOLEN car in our woods and then hid…somewhere on our property until they were found by the dozen or so policeman-wielded flashlights combing our front acres.

Saturday night’s heartache: Watching my baby girl deep-breathe her way through fear (see above).

Sunday’s bizarre: Our youngest has been dreaming of an RV for years.  After searching online for four months, we finally found the “perfect” (read: 1978 with low mileage, lots of retro charm, and within our budget) RV, made all the arrangements with the truly-lovely owners, and were ON OUR WAY to buy it, when the owners called to tell us they had just unexpectedly sold it…

Sunday’s heartache: (see above…and imagine us relaying the news to our youngest…)

Which brings us to today and a q&a post. All the women who are alumnus of my 12-month 7thYear Mentoring Encounter are part of an encouraging, online community. This week, the alumni interior-state-of-the-union post came from the amazing Kristi Shields Northup (songwriter, church-planter, and worship leader at Saint’s Community Church in New Orleans–soulful voice and beautiful heart) who asked: “In this Holy season, how do you see the suffering, death and resurrection of Christ at work your own life?” Below is my slightly-edited raw response:

(Note: For those of you who may not know me as well, Barry and I have three extraordinary children through the miracle of adoption, all of whom have special strengths that sing delightful duets with mild to moderate special needs ranging from Asperger’s to en-utero meth exposure.)

So good to hear your voice through this post, Kristi! Personally, I feel I’m partnering with Christ’s death and suffering by choosing to let love absorb the kids’ melt downs and anger. This morning my sweet youngest kicked me in the jaw, not because he wanted to hurt me but because he descended into fight/flight and lost control. When he realized what he had done he then spiraled even more to punish himself.

Barry held him until he could control his body once again and then he came to warm himself by the heater. I got on my knees behind him and said our oft-repeated promise: “I love you, I love you when you have good days and I love you when you have bad days. I love you when you make good choices and I love you when you make bad choices. I love you no matter what because you are mine.” At “mine,” he finally risked turning around from the heater and looking into my eyes. Then he collapsed into my body like a kitten.

This is Christ’s suffering, death, and resurrection at work in me. I have the opportunity to lean into the cross multiple times a day. The pain isn’t poetic–I feel it deeply. But I am trusting that love will lead to my son’s deliverance just as Christ’s love has led to mine.

So, I pass on to you Kristi’s thought-provoking question as we journey together through Lent: “In this Holy season, how do you see the suffering, death and resurrection of Christ at work your own life?”