Years ago, when I first penned these thoughts, a dear friend named Joe was hooked up to over half a dozen life-supporting tubes. He had not spoken for forty-eight hours. On that day the doctors encouraged his wife to call in the family, just in case. No one expected this. The specialists had said, “You can look forward to a long, full life.”

Joe was a thinker, a guitarist, a lover of rock ’n’ roll, a teacher, a mentor, and an all-around great man who loved to laugh. He was young, which meant around my age—whatever that happened to be. While living and serving in Scotland, Joe’s aches were diagnosed as cancer, so he returned to the States and went up to a world-class hospital for a bone marrow transplant. During chemo, Joe contracted pneumonia. His wife, his two teen boys, and hundreds of friends around the world began to pray and believe for a miracle.

As we enter into respectful dialogues with seeking and outright skeptical friends, I offer the following question for us all to ask of our respective “faith” (be that your faith in Jesus, a friend’s Atheism, or a loved one’s trust in a “vague yet benevolent energy” in the universe…): Is my belief system sustainable through times like this?

Webster defines sustain as:

1. to support, hold, or bear up from below.
2. to bear (a burden, charge, etc.).
3. to undergo, experience, or suffer (injury, loss, etc.); endure without giving way or yielding.
4. 4. to keep (a person, the mind, the spirits, ) from giving way, as under trial or affliction.
5. to keep up or keep going, as an action or process.

Take your pick as I repeat the question: Is your belief system sustainable through life-size pain? Does it strengthen you to “endure without giving way” when you are deeply disappointed? Can it “keep” your mind when your world is turned upside down?

If not, why? Could it be that you have studied it and practiced it superficially? Then do not slander the faith; scold yourself. But if, to the best of your ability, you have sincerely held the faith and in a time of trial the faith cannot hold you, then your belief system may not be sustainable.

We often think that belief is sustained by our minds or emotions. However, if we believe in Something and that Something is real, then it should have the power to help sustain belief when our minds and emotions cannot. Does it? Does the Object of your faith participate in the sustaining of your faith?

Many, many years ago, a pastor told me a story about an experience he had with his son. Little Joel always loved holding his daddy’s hand, but since Joel’s hand was so small, he could just grip his dad’s pinky. Kyle would smile and secure his thumb and index finger tightly around Joel’s wrist. Joel thought he was holding on to his dad but the truth was that his dad was holding on to him.

Once when they were crossing a parking lot hand in hand, a large pickup truck suddenly turned a corner, racing toward them. In fear, Joel let go of his dad’s hand. Kyle, his grip still tightly around Joel’s wrist, pulled Joel out of the truck’s path and into safety.

Little Joel thought Daddy was in his grip. It took a time of crisis to realize that he was actually in his dad’s grip. That lesson can only be learned if you are holding on to someone who (1) is real, and (2) is also holding on to you.

(These thoughts on faith and friction originally appeared in my book, Finding An Unseen God: Reflections of a Former Atheist. Recently I wrote an article on 5 Be’s for those who love Atheists for Today’s Christian Woman. If you’d like to read that article, click here.)