As I type, presents and wrapping paper surround me. The unseasonably warm weather beckons me. A to-do list calls to me. And the dishes, well, they are still there. My writing room, and my heart, have been a wee bit crowded of late.
It began with gorgeous things. It normally does. Opportunities and celebrations and invitations…to love, to give, to serve…my immediate family and my extended family of faith. In years gone by, it might have taken me months to awaken to the reality that too much good was starting to clutter the space my soul needs to breathe deeply and to live in love. By God’s grace, it now only takes a few days and sometimes only a few hours before that quiet alarm begins to sound deep within.
What are the signs? For me there can be several:
1. My head-talk starts shifting from Jesus + me to just me.
2. I begin to stare at people without really hearing people.
3. My office time becomes uneven, with too many hours invested in countless quick tasks and too few hours invested in more enduring and complex offerings.
4. I am more easily distracted…by the news, by my friend’s posts, by the weather, by, well, that squirrel…
When all four signs occur simultaneously, I know that the manger of my soul is quickly approaching capacity.
We tend to crowd our mangers, don’t we?
My mother crafted a gorgeous nativity set years ago from ceramic. The set options are many from sheep to wise men to assorted angels. As a child, I crowded as many actors as I could into that manger scene. As an adult, a crowded manger is simply unsustainable.
This Christmas, let us expend the effort to keep the scene simple. In reality, it is not the wrapping paper that clutters our lives. The clutter is in our heads and in our hearts.
In less than two weeks, my next book (www.40fasts.com) will be released. 40 Days is about decreasing and un-cluttering our hearts so we can see Jesus more clearly (and so others can see Him more clearly through our lives). Decrease is truly a discipline we need year-round.
Today, I am leaning upon Jesus for the discipline to thin the crowded “manger” of my heart so that I can gaze upon Him more fully.
May He help me, may He help us all, honor the sacred space reserved for Him and Him alone.
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Learning together: What are you doing this holiday season to avoid overcrowding the manger of your soul? (P.S. I’ll be sending one of the first signed copies of 40 Days of Decrease as a gift to someone who comments below! Feel free to share the gift opportunity with those you love.)
My tendency is to let my manger (my head and heart) fill with worries, anxious thoughts, fears, burdens, rather than filled with my heart fixed on Christ. This is a great way to look at things and a much better perspective to clean out my manger and refill it with the things of God. Blessed New Year!
On a little bit sillier note, yet still serious! Long ago, there was a song (by Sinatra??) with a line in it that says…. “do be do be do” and on… (Maybe “strangers in the night?”) Anyway….. there are 2 be’s and 3 do’s….. so…conclusion… our culture wants to surround all the ‘being’ with alot of ‘doing’…and is sometimes afraid to let the ‘being’ be clearly seen or known…MANY more conclusions can be drawn… 🙂
The two middle weeks of December are intense with ministry projects for me. They demand much of my time. I am intentional to take Jesus with me throughout my day,but like you mentioned above, when the head talk shifts from Jesus to self it is an indicator that my focus has shifted from who’s most important to me. I like visiting a local farm that puts on a live nativity to help recenter myself. It’s simple. It’s pure. Children are the actors, animals are present and a doll represents Jesus. But how the Holy Spirit speaks to my soul in those 10 quiet minutes. The manger becomes uncluttered and my holiday priorities reassigned.
Dear Alicia: just wanted to say thanks for sharing this blog. You’ve such a succinct way at that! We’ve been in a mode of doing less in some areas of life since it keeps the calmness longer in our son. there are some freedoms to not doing so many things people “expect” us to do this time of year… as we teach our son we’re aiming to read the Word thoroughly and ask “why do we do what we do”….Singapore (’87-’88) began driving in that question to ALL areas of life… not always easy and pleasant, but truly worth doing. Regularly! Would love to read your new project….lately our “no spend zone” has really made us see how much we have…and the need to share…. 🙂 blessings to you and your family… Andrea. PS I’m sure Sheila (Daniel) Corbin would love to SKYPE with you sometime, too.
Alicia, I so love and appreciate the way you give words to the landscapes of your life in such a way that we the readers not only respond but can feel the textures as they relate to and more clearly reveal the layers of our own experiences. “Crowded Mangers” is no different. How deeply this speaks to me, gives me pause, and yes fits with my own feelings of late. I pull back, withdraw, and intentionally remove from me the bulkiness of life and the days’ demands. I crave the silent space of quiet listening, of peaceful sitting with the silences of all that is sacred and holy, and to just let His Spirit wash me, and wash over me until I feel whole again. He does indeed raise me up, and in the raising I become most myself. It is Him. It was always Him. His beauty always calling me back to Him and where I am most at home–with Him. So glad this came across my page, and so Thankful it found its’ way to me. It affirms all that I have been feeling. Can’t wait to see more. Thank you for your great love for all things Him, and then your faithfulness to release it toward us. May your Christmas be full of unexpected blessings, in unexpected spaces.
About 6 years ago, we wrote a letter to our family and friends announcing that we were no longer going to give Christmas gifts. We would instead give all that money to help buy a specialized wheelchair for a disabled child. We assured everyone that we realized they may want or need some things. But thankfully, they do not need a wheelchair.
That first year was ever-so-slightly strained. But two weeks after Christmas, everybody forgets who gave them what, and afterwards it became our new normal, with all 118 (yes, 118) former gift recipients happy with us again.
Fast forward to today. Underneath our Christmas tree looms one large statue of Santa Claus bowing before baby Jesus.
Now our Christmases are free of shopping, spending and wrapping. And full of Christ.
We do give one single gift to each grandchild and one to each elderly parent. That’s it. There is no stress in December and no remorse in January.
At Christmas, we’ve turned away from the little things (that only cause stress and debt), and refocused our heart on the BIG and truly most important thing.
God bless you at Christmas and always!
What an incredible way to celebrate God’s gift to us all! Thank you for sharing, Elizabeth!
Thank you for giving practical ideas on realizing the feeling of being overwhelmed and cluttered. I could relate to feeling self-focused and really distracted. My dad died in May and my Christmas focus this year has been on relationships. Looking forward to a LONG road trip with my family and spending time together. I pared down everything else. Shopped online. Less decorations. Less is more. So excited to read your book. Merry Christmas!
Safe travels and rich memories to you this holiday season, Rachelle!
Although I don’t always comment, your words always speak to my heart.
Over the last few years, it seems Christmas has become an action of the head and not of the heart. Losing my father in law just yesterday, God is showing me (and my family) what is important through this Christmas season.
“An action of the head and not the heart”–what an apt description of the challenge we face in this season. And I am so sorry for your recent loss. Peace and comfort to you.
Thank you Alicia for such a simple and timely word. Last night I actually sat down and thought….I’m so busy and overwhelmed to do for other in love, but I’m forgetting to stop and thank our savior and remember His birth properly. I needed the simple quiet and to stop and listen for the voice of the Holy Spirit to be able to truly enjoy Christmas. Reading this, this morning confirms Inmeed to unclutter my heart and keep it simple. Chanda
Yes: oh to unclutter and keep it simple. God help us all! Thank you, Chanda.
My manger is ultra cluttered and I didn’t realize the problem until reading this blog post. Thanks for sharing!
Thank you, Kristi!
Thank you once again for speaking to my heart. I am so guilty of “not having time”, but when I really take an assessment, I find hours on Facebook, reading, and just zoning. I have been out of work due to illness and can not afford to do Christmas gifts this year. This was devastating to me, as I tend to place my worth in my live if giving. But Jesus is forcing me to rely on Him, and I am making Christmas about Him and family this year. My goal is to be more aware of whats eternally valuable and less on material values. Be blessed and Merry Christmas!
Thank you for opening this window to your heart, Ruby. May this seasons be filled with abundant surprises for your heart and your family.
Thank you Alicia, for this timely blog…just shy of the two most celebrated days of Christendom – the eve and the birth of our Savior! Like many of the others who commented, the “signs” came crashing down one recent evening after a long day of work at the hospital. I was cooking dinner, going through the mail, half listening to one of the family cheerfully relating a story of their day… I found myself staring at the mail. ‘What was happening?,’ asked my soul. ‘Where is your focus?,’ asked the Holy Spirit. I turned to look at my daughter. I hadn’t listened to word she’d said. As you experienced, I had overly filled the “inn of my heart.” No room, no room at this inn folks. Thank God for the prompting and prodding of the Holy Spirit whom most often awakens me from these moments and helps me to refocus on keeping the inn in order. Some of those guests checked out that evening.
What a beautiful question from the Holy Spirit: “Where is your focus?” Thank you for sharing, Diana!
I’m learning to say no. Declutter. Rest. Read. Listen.
Love you, my friend! May the holidays be flooded with rest!
My house is a bit crowded this Christmas season. My daughter and two grandsons (ages1 & 3!) are staying with us while her husband renovates their home. This situation has forced a paring down of other types of clutter. Fewer parties. Earlier bedtimes. Less stressing about a Christmas letter (yeah – that’s not happening). However, there’s more room for more stories, messy cookie decorating, more hugs and sloppy kisses, more rocking the baby to sleep. I hope that I remember how special this season has been so I can repeat it in some fashion next year.
“grandsons…less stress…Messy cookie decorating…more hugs and sloppy kisses”–priceless! Thank you, Vicki.
I appreciate your picture of a crowded manger as I struggle to keep putting my focus back on Jesus at this time of year.
It is a struggle. Peace to you, Donna!
I very much love your analogy….I try so hard to keep my life simple but the crowding of my head and heart could just be part of the issue I’m having with my anxiety.
“What are the signs? For me there can be several:
1. My head-talk starts shifting from Jesus + me to just me”
Yes yes yes…. and I’ve pre-ordered your book and simply cannot wait to dig deeper.
Thank you, Gail!!
What Incredible, Deep Spiritual Insight! (Crowded Manger). My time, that quiet place for me, is when everyone in the house has fallen asleep. In the stillness. I make an appointment, and HE meets me. I sit and wait. It looks like worship. HIS counsel. Sometimes it’s whispers that are ever so Quiet and Tender. Sometimes through art. Those times. That intimacy of Fellowship with HIM, Prepares me. Fills me. Strengthens me.
Making and keeping appointments with Jesus–so beautiful. Thank you, Rosa!
I’m going to tuck your analogy of the crowded manger away to pull out and reflect on as needed… meaning, often!
My advent season has been turned upside down by events out of my control, which has caused all of my “normal”daily rhythms to go by the wayside. The end result has been that I feel somewhat removed or detached in what I hope is a good way. There’s a sense of waiting to see and hear what Father has next… sort of a quiet expectancy.
The “manger of our souls” … yes, too crowded these days. One of the ways I de-clutter is to focus on a friend and spend time with her. As a couple, we might have a meal with another couple or have a one-on-one breakfast with a welcoming friend. I love to laugh, so I tend to surround myself with people who like to laugh. It’s been a good walk to the manger this year, and I look forward to de-cluttering alongside you in 2016.
peace~elaine
Thank you for sharing your signs. For me, they include riding a bus without praying for those around me that don’t know Him; not moving out of others way on the crowded sidewalks of my city; not waking with a Praise or Worship song on my lips. I appreciate your timely word, and look forward to reading that new book. Congratulations on its upcoming release. Merry Christmas to you and yours!
Wow, thank you for these thoughts! Yes, living in our own heads instead of being aware of Christ and those near us–great signs for us all to heed.
Alicia, I am reminded of your story of the beautiful kitchen and on the chalk board was a sign that said…
When you eat just eat.
Being more intentional with keeping Jesus in my moments, looking to Him to see where He wants me to touch another with His love helps me to keep focused on the gift He gave me. He gave us Love!
Yes! Touching others with His love…such a beautiful focus, Hope. Love you!
In the business of this season, this happens so easily. Thank you for reminding us all to stay focused on the simple truth of this season.
I agree: It does happen so easily. Ginger, thank you for reading and commenting. Peace to you.
It’s amazing to me how ONE thing can clutter our minds. Our daughter Tricia (43) has stage 4 breast cancer and we don’t know how much time we have with her. Your message is a reminder to me to take my eyes off Tricia (the clutter of my mind) and put it on HIM who created her.
Thanks for the reminder.
God’s blessing this CHRISTmas season.
Wow. I needed this today. The manger of my heart has become crowded as well. It’s time for decrease.
Thank you, Tom. Yes, holy decrease. God help us all.
I love the visual of the crowded manger. It n is so easy to let too much get crammed into the manger of our heart. I also appreciate your 4 warning signs. It is helpful to hear what yours are.
Have a blessed Christmas!
Blessings
Rayna
Thank you, Rayna. It was good for me to write them out to as a reminder to heed them. 🙂 Merry Christmas to you.
A friend posted this on fb and initially I scrolled right past it. But then I felt a little tug in my spirit so I decided to read it! My oh my I am so glad that I did! I actually copied and pasted it on a seperate note so I can reflect on these words when the manger starts to get crowded! Less of me and more of you Jesus! Amen. Thank you so much for sharing with us!
Yeah for little tugs! Thank you for reading, Tamika! May God help us all keep the manger simple this season.
I’ve intentionally avoided scheduling all but the most meaningful events. I’ve resisted doing anything but the most important things. I’ve slowed down, and concentrated on being with people, and with God. The commercialism of the holidays tire my spirit. I’ve found myself wishing to take a year off of any gift giving, and instead look for ways to honor God and the reason for the season. So much of our gift giving is giving stuff to people who have all they need, and sometimes what we give isn’t even needed or truly appreciated as a result.
Beautiful reflection, Karla. Probably many of us also suffer from a tired spirit in response to the push to buy in this season. Thank you for sharing how God is leading you.
We have decided to do a “thrift” Christmas this year. So we are giving “repurposed” gifts. (I purpose to stay out of crazy busy stores during this season.) Instead, I have been going to thrift stores, flea markets, and my own basement. My shopping experience has been so much fun! It has fed my soul to ask the Lord to help me find a gift that will be a blessing to each member of my family–it is so fun to shop with Jesus! I realized this year that I LOVE giving. A number of years ago, I realized that I hated Christmas (I thought, OK, there is something wrong here.) So if an activity leaves me empty or frustrated or resentful, I eliminate it or change it. My Christmas celebration doesn’t have to look like everyone else’s. And it can reflect MY value system.
Love this idea! Thank you for sharing, Karalee!
Reminding myself that I am because He is! I consciously shift my focus to Jesus and away from my to do list. I engage Him in every task. For the first time I have let go of what is not done and realized the world will not end if I sieze this moment to spend on what matters to him- more devotional moments, time with family and close friends. I have missed parties, my tree is a work in progress and my shopping has yet to begin and it is OK! I am learning to focus on a simple manger and there is not a crowd there.
“and it’s ok!”–yes! Kim thank you for this picture of focusing upon relationship or tasks. I still have gifts to purchase and wrap too…and the outdoor lights are still indoors in totes. 🙂 Love you! Please send love from the Chole tribe to Bishop and the girls.
Such a timely blog!!! Thank you for posting and reminding us to stay intentional in this season.
Thank you, Esther! Peace to you, my friend.
I love this! So many times our greatest enemy is “Distraction” but we must be intentional about guarding our hearts. This is some great stuff. Thank you Dr. Chole!
Thank you, Russell, for taking the time to read and to post. May your Christmas season be wonderfully undistracted! And may your rest be deep.
Beautiful reminder that we already possess the gift that each person needs – Jesus. Then, on top of that, we have fellowship and talents that add essence to this life. Thank you, Alicia, for this gift!
Thank you, Bernice! Love to you my friend and my greetings to the Chapel Springs family.
Busyness is a badge of honor in our culture, and this current can easily carry us if we do not intentionally take measures. Thanks Alicia, for sharing your warning signs the practical advise!! It is so helpful:)
You’re so right, Diane. Busyness is worn as a badge of honor in our culture. Our culture scurries about like mice before winter preparing for Christmas. 🙂
For me, it is reminding myself “Less doing; more being.” There are so many things I COULD be doing…but those things rob me of BEING present with those I love. It’s ok to not have something scheduled every single day of the week.
So true, Kara! “less doing; more being”–what a difference that priority makes. I hope to be remembered by my children as being with them more than doing for them. May God help me.
Love this post!! As a family, we observe Advent and use the time to be present to our kids and invest in the quality of our time with them. This simple practice solidifies their faith in God AND our relationships. But it requires a focused effort to stop and gather, which reminds me tangibly of spiritual rhythms.
So true, Steph. I’m pretty sure that your family’s practice was part of what inspired our own a few years ago. Just this past Sunday, we gathered together to light candle #4 together and read a portion of the sacred story. “Focussed effort” describes our times as well. And they will always remember. We also have a wreath with 25 present boxes on it and each day the kids “open Advent” and find a little surprise like a board game night or trip to see friends…Memories.
Since the love of shopping is not in my DNA, I have encouraged my kids to write notes of encouragement to their teachers, friends and family. We all have too many things that clutter our lives but we all need words to encourage us to press on to good deeds. May He who gave us everything spur us on to give of our lives to the lost and the hurting!
Merry Christmas!
What a wonderful idea, Tara! Gifting others with encouragement. Beautiful.
This reminded me that I wanted to be intentional about recognising what this season was about. Somewhere in the busyness I forgot to take a break and rest at the footsteps of my soul. Thank you for the reminder. I plan to get back into the rhythm of writing and watering what’s deep inside. ?
The rhythm of writing…such a beautiful way to phrase writing as a discipline and a devotion. Thank you, Nadeen.