As I mentioned in the monthly letter Q&A, a few years after God unexpectedly directed me into a speaking ministry, a wonderful acquisitions VP from Thomas Nelson asked me to write a book for them.
Well, this was unexpected! Looking back with a bit more experience, I am struck by the risk Nelson took on me. They flew me out to meet with and speak to their sales reps and announced in Christian Retailing Magazine that they felt they had discovered a female Max Lucado. The first month of sales were quite promising and then throughout the coming year, those numbers dwindled as bookstores began to return unsold merchandise.
Pure Joy had a strong cover design, a padded cover, and silver-edged thick, glossy pages. Nelson spared no expense in making the book beautiful and had proven success in the gift-book genre. Publisher and readers alike offered kind and encouraging words about the book’s content. But times were changing. As people strolled through bookstores, the author’s name more than a beautiful cover or interesting theme moved them toward the cashier’s desk. More than ever, platform was emerging as a critical component for sales. And this unknown author was missing that key ingredient.
Timeless lessons were embedded in this journey from the surprise of an unexpected contract to the encouraging certainty of my publisher’s hopes through the disappointment of low sales. God spiritually formed me through each step. Perhaps among the most valuable of lessons was this:
Successful endings are not the proof of divine beginnings.
When beginnings clearly bear the mark of God’s hand, we have a tendency to fill in the blanks with what the outcome should look like: Surely a dreamed-for-pregnancy will result in long life, not miscarriage. Surely a job that was unmistakably God’s provision will last as long as needed, not be cut via down-sizing. Surely an inspired partnership in ministry will bear life-long fruit, not fracture the very friendship that made it possible. Surely…
So when miraculous beginnings do not conclude with marvelous endings, we are tempted to become revisionists and—in our disappointment—rewrite the origin story.
But something does not have to last forever in order to have been God-inspired in origin.
Conception is still a miracle even if parents must wait to hold their beloved child until they see Jesus. God’s provision is still God’s provision even if a job does not last forever. Inspired beginnings are still inspired even if our common brokenness taints endings with wounds and scars.
We cannot allow current pain to incite us to lie about—or disown—past miracles.
When the books started being ret
urned to the warehouse and the hoped-for sales numbers plummeted, I felt sick. My publisher had taken such a risk on an unknown author, and I had not “delivered.” I thought, Maybe it was not God in the first place…maybe it was a distraction…maybe I could have spared them the hope and expense if I had declined….
Revising history.
But, the truth was that God had inspired Terri to ask me to write Pure Joy. The opportunity was God’s direction and not a distraction. And twelve years later, my publisher—who had not been a newbie to the collision of dreams and realities with new authors—and I are working together again on my next book.
Lived openly with God, disappointment is a rich mentor. Though I cannot speak to what lessons the journey gifted others, for me:
Jesus revealed the same tangible partnership in writing as we experienced when speaking together. (I am never alone when holding a mic…)
God opened the door for partnership with a literary agency (who championed finding a home for Anonymous: Jesus’ Hidden Years and Yours).
God uncovered my tendency to take on responsibility for fulfilling other’s benevolent but unrealistic expectations of me—something that, left unrecognized, would have crushed me.
And God taught me that His economy operates with a different definition of success.
One reader’s words convinced me that God will happily mobilize a village to encourage one beloved soul.
Just before Pure Joy went out of print, a dear woman contacted me to tell me her story. Her cherished child had died when only a few months old and the grief was overwhelming. When someone placed my book in her hands, she gasped and absorbed every word. She felt God had it written for her. Why? Because the name she had given her beautiful baby girl was Pure Joy.
Wow, so much truth in this blog. ‘Successful endings are not the proof of divine beginnings.’ I always thought longevity and success were some type of a confirmation from God that we had been in sync with His will. I have been heartbroken in ministry many times in the past year or two. Thanks for helping to heal my heart and put these painful stories in a new perspective.
Shari, it’s so true that we naturally look to endings as the ultimate “tell” of whether or not beginnings were divinely appointed. I am so grateful to hear that the Lord is healing your heart–the principle certainly has aided in the healing of mine. 🙂
This is so helpful and affirming. “We cannot allow current pain to incite us to lie about—or disown—past miracles.” Pure kapow!
Thank you, Brenda! Yes, it’s a challenge to let what was beautiful and/or amazing and/or miraculous remain so when current pain casts shadows in our memories.
Alicia ~
LOVED this! I shared it with my husband. I especially loved your quote, “We cannot allow current pain to incite us to lie about-or disown-past miracles.” That spoke to me…
I immediately searched for and bought “PURE JOY.” I can’t wait until it arrives!
<3,
April
Oh, how fun! Let me know what you think about Pure Joy. I have one box left that I’m saving for my kiddos. So glad you found one online.
Sometimes our disappointments become appointments for greater things! I have discovered your voice and it is beautiful. I have “Pure Joy,” and it is! I carry it, “Intimate Conversations” and ” Sitting in God’s Sunshine…” with me in my purse. I’ve read “Finding an Unseen God” and have “Anonymous…” to soak in next. I thank God for you and for my sister who introduced your voice to me! Push ahead to greater things!!! You are loved and your voice is needed!
Thank you, Arlene! How encouraging for my heart…and my pen.
As I embark on my first book, this world is so new to me. I never intended to be a writer but God has a way of surprising us with divine beginnings. I want to continually remind myself that the outcome is not my responsibility. Being obedient is my job. What he does with that obedience, is up to him.
So true. I find that writing devotionally (for the love of God) is always good for my soul, regardless of how it is or isn’t received by others.
Years ago I attended a women’s conference (something I usually avoided doing) at a ski resort in Maine where you were speaking. I remember that you were ill that weekend and I also remember being ministered to in a special way when you spoke. There was an intimacy with you, the Holy Spirit, and my heart that resonated with me. I bought your book, Pure Joy at that conference.
At a later date I visited your church while visiting a friend of mine and snatched your book, Anonymous, from the bookstore. (Don’t worry, I paid for the book!) God used the latter book to go deep during a difficult stretch of life.
I am grateful for the way Father has used you to speak grace into my life. Your post reminds me that we are called to obey and trust Him for the outcome.
Wendy, I remember that retreat! I think I was recovering from a surgery and not even close to 100% yet. You all were so gracious and warm. Thank you for picking up Anonymous at JRC! I loved (LOVED) writing that book and it means a lot to hear that it was used by God to minister to you.
Alicia, I am living this: >>>> something does not have to last forever in order to have been God-inspired in origin.
God called me into a speaking ministry in 2007. Speaking is my passion, and I feel I have a message to share. I shared it with hundreds of women over the past 7+ years.
In the past two years, God has ‘re-assigned’ me, so to speak. I’m doing more writing. Published my 2nd Bible study and a devotional book through a wonderful publisher. But, where God has me serving now is in more one-on-one, mentoring type of ministry. Although I do not feel that to be my strength, it is where He has me, and I bend my knee to it, asking Him to minister through me. Perhaps He will bring speaking engagements again. I would adore that! Perhaps He will bring the opportunity to write another Bible study again. If He does not, I am content with His plan.
Wonderful, blessed post. A great reminder for me.
Thank you, Leah. And thank you for your faithfulness in reading and commenting each month. It means a lot to me.
Pure Joy was given to me as a gift from our area directors wife years ago. It was my first introduction to your voice. God has used you since to provide some wind beneath my wings when it was desperately needed. I’m thankful for that introduction.
Wow, Karla, I’m not sure I knew that! Jesus has given me many gifts through that book…and I will add you to that list!