Dippi
ng his Oreos in ice-cold whole milk, Dad’s brown eyes would dance as he asked, “So how’s the daughter?” Those smiling eyes would never leave me while we talked into the night. All the thoughts within me—my perceptions and objections, my half-baked ideas and in-process hypotheses—were met with the same consistent attention.
Nothing shamed Dad, shocked Dad, or shut Dad down.
He, my atheist father, modeled the attribute of God that would one day captivate me: presence.
From Dad’s example I learned that leadership meant being profoundly present to those who followed.
Leaders listen intently in order to hear heart more than words.
Leadership exemplifies time-undivided, process-honored, and personhood-celebrated.
Then Jesus swept me off my feet and revealed that my father’s model of presence was a beautiful shadow of His fullness: Emmanuel is with me, within me, continually present to me and through me. God leads me by being profoundly with me.
Two breathtaking verses have embodied my personal definition of leadership:
Jesus went up on a mountain and called to him those he wanted, and they came to him. He appointed twelve—designating them apostles—that they might be with him and that he might send them out to preach and to have authority to drive out demons. (Mark 3:13–15)
The LORD would speak to Moses face to face, as one speaks to a friend. Then Moses would return to the camp, but his young aide Joshua son of Nun did not leave the tent. (Exodus 33:11)
As a new follower of Jesus, I remember the small phrase “that they might be with him” opening up a well of understanding within me: my first calling was to be with Jesus. As Christ’s disciple, my priority job description was with-ship. All leading—being sent “out to preach and to have authority”—needed to flow from being present to my Savior.
Moses’ relationship with God has added further depth to my definition of leadership. My gloriously common calling is to live face-to-face with God: to minister to Him as His friend. My personal assignment is to intentionally invest in modern Joshuas the longing and discipline to abide in God’s presence: to figuratively never “leave His tent.”
Biblical leadership in my soul is fused inseparably with living present to God, to myself, and to others. Sometimes in our day it seems that what is called leading could at times more accurately be termed directing or even driving. Jesus-style leadership is inextricably rooted in the present of presence.
Alicia, I so relate to your relationship with your dad. My dad was my hero..He exemplified “Love personified” in everything he did..I love your message about “presence”…If we carry His “presence” everywhere…like a fragrance..it will permeate everything and everyone…God with us “Emmanuel”…
Carmen, thank you for commenting! We’ve been given a rare gift to have such heroic relationships with our dads. I too hope that Dad’s investment in me enables me to offer others presence (mine and Jesus’) more readily. 🙂
Thank-you for this beautiful teaching about being present. I’ve been confronted with my lack in this area and I need Father to transform my heart. Sadly, self absorption, due to fear or even a desire to please, often sabotages my ability to connect with people meaningfully. Your fathers’ loving example is truly inspiring.
His loving example continues to inspire me too. Thank you, Wendy, for reading.
Beautiful!
Alicia, this is beautiful. What a gift your Dad gave you! You have reminded me of the importance of presence in all our relationships. I have the privilege to speak into and be part of the lives of several young women. One of them, the one who currently lives in my home, told me one day that her mom, who lives a world away, wasn’t really interested in what is going on in this young woman’s life. She told me this while she was also telling me that she loves that I AM interested in her life. Face-to-face, presence-to-presence…it is how we show Jesus to a lost world.
Dad’s gifts to me were many. This past Thursday would have been his 74th birthday–I miss him dearly. Thank you for reading, Leah, and I’m sure the women whom you are investing in are very, very blessed.